My Own Little World

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours

give me open hands and open doors

put Your light in my eyes and let me see

that my own little world is not about me

Sometimes lyrics from songs hit me right in my heart and I am bowled over by their significance. I never feel closer to God than when I am singing to the Lord, or listening to the hearts of different performers. The words above are from Matthew West's new song My Own Little World. I feel like "my own little world" is shattered and has been shattered for the Lord.

For so long it's been about me...what do I need to do to make my life better? Where do I need to live? What school should I apply to in order to learn the most and have the most support? What do I need to do in order to be happier? Seriously, I feel so self consumed and so self involved. And so ashamed. Over the last 18 months I have been praying to be used by the Lord. But if I dissect that prayer, I have selfishly been praying that my own little world would be fixed and I would once again feel safe and loved and not have to worry about all the junk that I had been dealing with for so long. My prayer WAS about serving the Lord, but it was about fixing me first. 

You know what is great about our Lord? He hears our prayers-even the parts that we don't say and don't admit to ourselves until we are sitting on a couch, sipping coffee on a beautiful Saturday nearly 18 months after having begun to constantly pray said prayer....

Everything that is happening now is to shatter and destroy my own little world and open my heart and mind to see the much bigger picture. God is amazing. And I am humbled and blessed to have God put his "light in my eyes and let me see that my own little world is not about me."